The article is extremely shallow. There is an overload of examples which hide the article's transitions and main points. It's completely informative, offering no strong opinions or any creative endeavor. Just... facts. Dry and dull. The organization is robotic and choppy, not a fun article to read.
Thursday, September 5, 2013
8. When Football Players Sing
Ben Greenman's article offers no surprise; the title sums it all up. The article is mostly a collection of examples of songs that sports stars recorded in the past few years. The article notes, however, that the NFL is behind when it comes to singing sports stars. They are mostly famous instead for dances, dance songs, and hip-hop. The article concludes with some exceptions to the rule: artists that have recorded other types of songs.
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Your vocabulary is appropriate except in the "Just...facts" part. However,your analysis is a little bit incomplete. Try stating the purpose, tone, and audience of the selection. I like your sentence structure but try to use some transitions (especially in the second paragraph). Good job overall though! :)
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