6. "We Were Bored... So We Decided to Kill Somebody"

Steve Clemons, the Washington editor for The Atlantic, comments on the most recent incident of gun violence in Oklahoma. The victim was an Australian student, Christopher Lane, who had gone to Oklahoma to visit his girlfriend. He was brutally murdered by three juveniles who allegedly said to authorities, "We were bored and didn't have anything to do, so we decided to kill somebody." Clemons then makes a comment on the affect this murder would have in Australian politics and the struggle the American ambassador would have to confront the child's parents. Clemons then gives his article a more personal and general note when he comments on his own experience in Oklahoma and the tendency of the youth to commit violent acts there. He proposes that in order for Oklahoma to feel a decline in youth aggression, the state government must act. They no longer can back-up gun possession laws above all else, "the government must prioritize building 'healthier communities'." Clemons also highlights the role of other states and industry in the process of recuperation of Oklahoma, by withdrawing their support and allowing Oklahoma to hit rock-bottom. Clemons continues his article by highlighting politicians who have the power to promote gun restrictions and are inclined to do so. He then outlines the effects intervention could have on the aggressive tendencies of teenagers, while also changing their perception of how it harms themselves, others, and America as a whole.          
In his article Clemons is trying to articulate an argument based on prior knowledge of violence in Oklahoma, the mass murders at schools, and of a recent incident which has just struck the community in Oklahoma. He utilizes the first-person in this article to convey a more personal tone, to enhance his ability to "get into the reader's head" by emphasizing "healthier" and safer communities. Clemons is also trying to persuade companies to move away from Oklahoma, to make the state government make a change in both its gun policies and in the treatment of the Oklahoma youth. He strongly relies on personal relationships he has with political powers to convey both the need Oklahoma has and also the steps the government can take to help. Most of his supporting evidence is impersonal, for there is no relationship between the reader and the politicians, this nullifies the affect he tries to have through the use of the first-person. Although his points are valid, his evidence is not strongly supported, he presents several ideas yet does not back them up sufficiently. Thus, his paper turns out to be inefficient as the reader can make his own assumptions on the lack of topic coverage and lack of support he gives for his own points. This essay is very biased and prevents the reader from making the connection he is trying to make. This essay strayed from its implied thesis, becoming more of an informative piece than holding persuasive power over the reader.    

http://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2013/08/we-were-bored-so-we-decided-to-kill-somebody/278858/